Thankful for Autism?? YOU BET!!

If you are a Facebook-er, you have probably seen the viral "what you are thankful for" posts. The jest of it is that everyday until Thanksgiving you post in your status update something for which you are thankful. Well, I thought it would be sort of fun, so I joined the bandwagon and started with the normal list; Jesus, husband, kids, parents, sisters, etc. Today, I am on #9 and my "thankful list" item for today is Autism. Yep, Autism, which may seem a little strange if you haven't been following my blog, but if you have you totally understand why it appears so high up on my list. This made me stop and think about why I am thankful for it and of course it turned into a big discussion with myself (don't worry, I wasn't actually talking to myself out loud, just in my head--admit it, you do it too!) I was having such a wonderful conversation with myself that I feel compelled to let the rest of you in on why I am so thankful for Autism.

At first the conversation was about me and how it has made me grow and become a better person, but it quickly turned into me reflecting on all the people that are a part of my life because of Autism. This is pretty amazing to me because most of them I would have probably never crossed paths with, and each one of them has had an impact on our journey and our lives. Thinking about them I had to put them in little groups that make sense of who they are and what they have done for us. Here are my little groups and a few people that I find to be unique and who have had a big impact on us:

People Who Autism was Thrust Upon
These are the parents and families of children with autism. These are people who imagined life a little different than it turned out for them. Many of them watched their perfectly normal child stop talking and start to withdraw from the world. One day a doctor came in and told them the "A" word, and from that moment on, things were different for them, they live lives very similar to mine, but also very different. You see the thing about Autism is it affects every child so differently. While Spencer is sweet, laid back and easy going, but can't talk and still poops his pants, there are kids who are brilliantly smart, but who scream in fits of anger for hours, bite, hit, and kick themselves and their parents. The amazing thing about this group is that we work together, we MUST. We have learned that you can't rely on one doctor to tell you what to do to fix it, you can't rely on one treatment to fix it, and when you think something is working, it stops working. We have to work together because if we didn't share our ideas and what works for each one of us, then we wouldn't know what to do or where to begin. We fight many of the same fights, insurance companies who don't want to pay, school districts who don't want to accommodate, doctors who don't understand and think we are crazy for not vaccinating our kids or that biomedical interventions are a worthless. I have met quiet a few "Warrior Moms", each with their own story and courage, many have given me strength in this journey, but there is one mom in particular that changed our life this past year, Stephanie Sanford. I crossed paths with Stephanie on the Katy Autism Support Yahoo Group, but had never met her face to face. Her son was only 3 at the time and what I found was a mom who had a relentless pursuit to heal her son. Following her story made me stop dead in my tracks and question if I was doing everything I could do to heal Spencer. We had been on the typical treatment path, which is do nothing, stick him in a special ed. class in the public school and hope for the best. But reading her story, I knew there was more, I knew there was hope, so earlier this year we changed directions and started our journey with Thoughtful House and Spectrum of Hope. (Yep, Steph I'm a stalker, but seriously your posts on KASG sparked that little flame that now burns like wild fire to heal my son). I'm so thankful for Stephanie and that I can call her my friend.

People who Know Autism Because they Know Us
I have found the most comfort with this group of people. They know "Mike and Tami" before Autism, they know us as individuals, not as the parents of a child with autism. They are our friends and family who have been on this journey with us every step of the way. In the early days, they "gently" let us know something wasn't right, they listened to us lament over Spencer when he didn't reach milestones, they are the people that completely understand the excitement you get when your 7 year old says "mommy" for the first time or that your 8 year old went an entire day without a pee accident. They find our stories funny and heartbreaking. They laugh with us when a Spencer "quirk" may seem weird and odd to and outsider, but we find totally hilarious!! They cry with us when it gets to be just too much to bear. They help me to feel normal when being a "Special Needs" parent feels so isolating. I could make a huge list of these people there are so many of them, but to name a few.....our Cinco neighbors (the Wosel's, the Barron's and the Matus'), my parents, my sisters, Honey and Pops, my friends at work, my BFF Susan. Every one of you is a part of this journey and we wouldn't be where we are today without you!!

People Who Chose Autism
These are the people that find passion in helping children with Autism and their families. Among them you will find many who wound up doing what they do, because they themselves were in group #1. Lucas at Thoughtful House has been a God send, you can go back and read the old posts about our experiences there, but to sum it up Spencer is getting better because of what they have taught us, shown us and encouraged us to do. They never stop; they have a drive and a passion to heal our children. When many people have said there is no "cure" they say maybe not, but there is hope and there is healing, these kids can live better lives. Another are the therapists and staff at Spectrum of Hope, some have children with Autism, some have relatives with Autism and some just have a passion to make life better for kids with Autism. What you find a Spectrum of Hope is a community of people who are bent to healing our kids. Like Thoughtful House, they know there is hope and healing. But by far one of the most incredible people I have ever met is Suzette Coates. This girl (and I say girl because she's probably only 25) has devoted 100% of her energy and efforts to our kids. She not only is a YCAP teacher in KISD during the school year, she spends her summer teaching ESY (summer school for special needs) and RUNNING a camp for children with disabilities!! She single handedly is able to wrangle up a whole bunch of young energetic teenagers to take a group of 12-15 children with disabilities all over Houston/Galveston for day trips in the summer. She also has the courage and energy to take the kids on OVERNIGHT camp outs during the summer--real campouts with tents, cooking over a fire and all!! She also, after spending all day with the kids in ESY, takes them to the pool swimming, she just doesn't stop!! To top it off, she has big dreams for the autism programs in Katy, I really pray that someday a sensible administrator will hear her ideas and impalement them. She dreams of a public school just for children with Autism (hmmm...much like Spectrum of Hope??). I would venture to say that it would be the best way to service and get our kids the help they need, and guess what....it would probably be a heck of a lot cheaper for the school district and save you and me loads in tax dollars!! I'm just sayin', someone needs to fix our education system!! Suzette, we can't wait to come back to Journey for a few weeks this summer! Girl, you are AMAZING!!

God's People
This final group I like to call God's people, these are the one's he put there. These are people that autism entered their life in a really unique way. It was not thrust upon them by having a child with Autism, they didn't come to know autism because they were friends of ours, and they didn't make a conscious choice to work with children/families of autism. They became a part of our family just by sheer coincidence and timing. I know these people were specifically chosen to be a part of this journey with us because they have all openly welcomed and loved Spencer despite his Autism. Gina Ravey-I met Gina when we were at our lowest point. We had just been handed the "A" diagnosis and within a few weeks Spencer was kicked out of preschool. (I could probably sue their tails off for it, they kicked him out when they found out he was dx with Autism....discrimination...YOU BET!! ) I was heartbroken and stressed. At the time I was traveling a lot for work and Mike was working long hours. We had nowhere to take our son. Our Occupational Therapist had been working with a child in an "at home" daycare and suggested I give her a call. At the time, I was pretty much against in home daycare; my view was only what I had seen on news, crazy people who abuse the kids in their care. But, God forever changed my view after meeting Gina. She is the most loving, giving, genuine, Christian woman I know. Through the time Spencer was with her we became good friends. I looked forward to every afternoon when I picked Spencer up because it meant a good conversation with a great friend. It wasn't always about Spencer and Autism either; we shared all that was going on in our lives (sick parents, dysfunctional families and little bit of gossip). She was special in that she took the time to understand Autism, to get to know how it affected Spencer, she had the courage to take on an Autistic child, but mostly, she loved Spencer just as much as we do, and still does. There was no better place for Spencer to be and I am so thankful to God for putting her in my life. Spencer stopped going to Gina's 3 years ago and she is still one of my good friends. I am so thankful Autism brought us together and that I can call her my friend!!

There are so many other people that come to mind that have helped and encouraged us along the way and each one of them is special to us.  Madalyn Lee, Ms. Becky, Ms. Lakeisha and Ms. Dakeish at WCE YCAP--I miss you girls so much!!  Audrey Bivens for being an administrator that puts the kids first and doesn't get jaded or swayed by the "process". Our friends at SBC OnDemand--for being great friends and wonderful examples of Christ.  Ms. Brittney in Promise Land--she let's us have a few hours to worship God without the worry of Spencer.  Dwayne and Cheryl Clark, Linda Thompson and all the Challenger Baseball folks and fellow Orioles--love you all for giving us a place where Spencer can be a normal kid for an hour!!
The KASG folks who I learn so much from every day!  Camp Barnabas folks--what a wonderful place and nice few nights of respite for Mike and I.  Our friend from Barnabas, Mike Skinner--an amazing guy with such a mature relationship with Christ.  He has a genuine love for Spencer and our family.

Wow, I could go on forever!! This was by far one of the hardest posts ever! I sat down yesterday and thought I could just whip it out, but the more I typed the more my heart felt filled with love for so many people, but yet burdensome that I would leave someone out!!

I mean just as I typed that I thought of all our bus drivers, they were all so awesome, the ladies last year thought Mike and I were FBI agents!! How freakin funny is that, we for sure had many laughs last year with them (the jokes about us being special agents and undercover operatives were hilarious!!) Man and how could I forget our friends at Creech Elementary, Mrs. Iovine, Mrs. DeCaire and Mrs. Chaka our first special ed teachers and our Life Skills teacher Mrs. Clanton and Ms. Ruth!

And then there were all the therapists from the early years, when he was 2 and we really had no idea what was wrong with him. They were there to hold our hand and guide us through the difficult process at Texas Children's and the slew of specialists we saw there. Man that seems like ages ago and doesn't even feel like it was my life!!

Oh, and then there was Elwin Sims, our speech therapist, who pushed me (sometimes not so gently) to FIGHT for Spencer to get the diagnosis we needed to get him in the autism program in KISD!! Spencer had a formal autism diagnosis from Texas Children’s and KISD chose to ignore (um, the best specialists in the state??) and gave him a diagnosis of speech delay and mental retardation. That was a very difficult and LONG year, but Elwin was so helpful and full of information. He "chewed me out" a few times, telling me NOT to let them get away with that!! I miss Elwin!! :(

Seriously I could go on FOREVER, but I really need to wrap this up! If I didn't mention you, please know that EVERY person has at one time or another touched me in a way that has shaped me into the parent I am today, I love you all and am so THANKFUL for you! Have a very blessed Thanksgiving; I pray that you take the time to reflect on all the goodness that God has given you and me; and to thank Him for the ultimate sacrifice He gave us in His son, Jesus Christ!!

Until next time....grace, peace, hope, love and prayers!!
T

"Praise the LORD! Oh, give thanks to the LORD, for He is good! For His mercy endures forever. Who can utter the mighty acts of the LORD? Who can declare all His praise?" Psalm 106:1-2