The Marathon

I have often considered running a marathon, I mean I’m physically fit enough, I’m (fairly) young, and I have the tenacity to get it done. I have many friends who run the Houston Marathon and some who even run several a year. It intrigues me, it’s one of those accomplishments that you wear like a badge of honor. Do you ever notice the cars on the freeway that have the 13.1 sticker or the really cool people who have the 26.2? That’s why they put them there to say “I ran a marathon” and prove to the world they did it. Do you ever wonder about the training that goes into it? The pain and agony of the actual race? For most it’s a BRUTAL 2-3 hour ordeal, I mean really, that doesn’t sound like much fun?? As I ponder this task I seek out advice from my marathon friends and they begin to paint a picture for me of what training for and running a marathon is like. I mean you can’t just go out and run 26.2 miles, well I know one person who does, but he’s a little wacky like that! I also find out that MANY people who “run” a marathon don’t actually run the whole thing. This surprises me a little, because I think if you are going to say you “ran a marathon”, you should actually have to RUN the marathon, the whole thing. Anyway, so what does this have to do with our journey with autism?

Well, as I said, I have often contemplated the idea of running one, but recently I have come to realize that I don’t actually have to run a marathon, I run one everyday. You see, having a child with autism is like running marathon. You train for it every day, you read, study, blog, discuss, ask, seek, pray and find as much as you can, you arm yourself with the training to run the race. And when it’s race time you start off in a sprint, full speed, hopped up on adrenaline and the confidence that you have “trained” enough for the task at hand. As the race continues you slow down to a steady jog, and find yourself saying "hey, this isn't so bad, I can SO do this!". You find your happy place, your rhythm, your inner peace that it's going to be just fine. Then, you hit it, you hit a wall. Your legs just can’t seem to move anymore, they start feeling like lead, you just can’t seem to go on, it’s too hard, the finish line too far in the distance. So, you start walking, slowly, slowly, slowly. Then something happens, thoughts of your training creep back into your mind. You begin to realize again what you are there for, what your purpose is: to finish the race, at all costs. You begin to feel a slight tailwind; you feel the presence of God breathing life back into your spirit. Your steps begin to pick up and you find yourself jogging again, slow and steady, your legs are still tired, you feel beaten down, but you must forge ahead. You again find your happy place only to run smack into another wall. Again, you walk, and the race continues just like that for 26.2 miles.

In my marathon, some days I can see the finish line, I can taste the sweet victory, I can see the flags waving and hear the crowds cheer!! There is hope, I have faith, and we will overcome this race. But on other day’s it’s too far off to comprehend, I begin to doubt all the evidence of recovery. I can’t seem to picture a recovered child. And that is when I dig, dig deep and find the courage and faith to move because I know it is there! I know that I can not quit, this is our journey and we must follow the path. Whether it is a smooth rolling hill or a treacherous mountain, I have the courage and faith to know that we will be carried through the rough spots. I pray that someday I can look back at this race and see it as a small challenge that was put in our path. Will I have a recovered child? I can’t really answer that, it is not my question to answer. I can only give him my best and pray that the direction we must follow be revealed with clarity. All I hope for myself is that I can leave the race with the peace of mind and heart that we did our best.

Until next time...peace, love, hope and prayers!

T

Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9