Playground games

Playground games....ahh remember the days when you were younger and you would be at school all hum ho about the day only to look forward to the one event of the day that was so much fun you just couldn't stand it. RECESS!! Think back to all the fun games you would play, red rover, dodge ball, keep away, 2-hand touch, etc. Most of the time it required teams to be formed and the process of choosing teams included a first round of rock paper scissors to see who would be the team captains. Then the "captains" would set off choosing sides. Today, some would say this process isn't fair to the kids, that it hurts their self esteem. HA! No, I say it's a right of passage, teaches a kid to be kind, make friends, try hard and always do your best. Because frankly if you don't do those things no one will ever want you on their team. I digress.....Remember the thrill and pride you would feel if your name was one of the first called? Usually that meant your were either "BFF's" or you were a great player. So I think my journey with autism is a lot like those play ground games. We'll get back to that....

My wonderful mother has shared our blog with many of her friends. She has the BEST friends!  Her college roommate Barbara is the one who got us hooked in to Camp Barnabas, for which I am forever grateful. Her friend, Jan, was there with her when she was dealing with raising three teenage girls, without Jan, I'm not sure my mother would have come through that with sanity. We were typical teenage girls, catch my drift?? And her neighbors, they are awesome!! They have been there for her through so much! Each one of them is so special to her and to us (her daughters) because they have been her rock and salvation during the last 10 years. One of those neighbors, JoNelle, is the most kind, sweet, compassionate and loving Christian women I have ever met. Her faith and spirit were such an important part of my mom's battle with cancer last year, which I am forever indebted to her. Over the weekend, my mom forwarded an email from JoNelle with her thoughts on our blog...the following is a little excerpt from her email that really had a profound impact on me and re-confirmed some things in me that I have thought of all along, but have also compelled me to write about it in this edition.

To begin with..."this is one of the most emotional...heartfelt...sometimes funny...but always...containing the Spirit of Christ...in scriptures and stories...I have ever read...What a fabulous "writer". Tami is...but MORE than that what a Christ centered Mom she is...I can't begin to imagine what her life is like even after reading these Blogs...I can't put another person that I know in this "framework"...of being a working Mom, a wife...and having these two wonderful children...I have always heard and believe to a certain extent...that God gives "special children" to families that He personally chooses...AND I DO believe that your sweet family is a "God chosen one"...

Back to the playground....so yeah, I believe we were chosen to be Spencer's parents, to play on God's team. I actually believe that most of life is chosen by God. Life isn't happenstance. We all have trials and tribulations and I could spend a good deal of time validating why I believe that based on scripture and teachings that I have been witness to by our wonderful Pastor, Dr. Ed Young. But that's not what this blog is about. No doubt I have had my moments of saying, I DON'T WANT to be chosen, why can't I just have a "normal" child (I really don't like that reference, cause I don't know a kid out there that is "normal"). Why can't life be easy, I admit I envy those that appear to have the rosey colored life. (But you can always look deeper and find it isn't as rosey as it seems on the outside).  Seriously though, I think I'm a pretty good person, I try to stay positive about this journey.  But I have my pity parties, who doesn't? We all want life to be easy. We want the streets to be paved in gold and to live a carefree life. In this game, like on the playground, I am chosen.  And you know what?  It isn't so bad, I want to play on God's team. God chose us to raise Spencer, and for that I feel honored!! What better a compliment can a person receive to know that God, hand selected you, entrusted you, to raise one of His special children. I received this from another Mommy Warrior and it pretty much sums it all up...

Did you ever wonder how mothers of handicapped children are chosen? Somehow I visualize God hovering over Earth. As he observes, he instructs his angels to make notes.

"Armstrong, Beth; son; patron saint, Matthew. Forrest, Marjorie; daughter; patron saint, Cecilia. Finally he passes a name to an angel and smiles, "Give her a handicapped child."

The angel is curious. "Why this one, God? She's so happy."

"Exactly," smiles God. "Could I give a handicapped child a mother who does not know laughter?"

"But has she patience?" asks the angel.

"I don't want her to have too much patience or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wears off, she'll handle it. I watched her today. She has that feeling of self and independence that is so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I'm going to give her has his own world. She has to make it live in her world and that's not going to be easy."

"But, Lord, I don't think she even believes in you."

God smiles, "No matter. I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just enough selfishness."

The angel gasps, "Selfishness?

God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she'll never survive. Yes, there is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn't realize it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted a 'spoken word'. She will never consider a 'step' ordinary. When her child says 'Mama' for the first time, she will be present at a miracle and know it! When she describes a tree or a sunset to her blind child, she will see it as few people ever see my creations. I will permit her to see clearly the things I see - ignorance, cruelty, prejudice - and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life."

"And what about her patron saint?" asks the angel.

God smiles. "A mirror will suffice."

I am not a saint, when I look in the mirror I see, Tami, mom, wife, sister, daughter, friend. I am nothing more and nothing less. God put us on this path and it's our job to stick with it until the end and for that I feel honored.

Tomorrow, Spencer will start 6 weeks of daily 1 on 1 therapy for 6 hours a day.  I am so thankful for the people in my life who have made it possible to send Spencer to this wonderful place.  At therapy they will focus on teaching him to "mand" (think of demand or ask for) his wants and needs.  This is a HUGE step he needs to overcome in order to FINALLY be potty trained.  (It sure ain't fun cleaning up after an 8 year old and I have been changing diapers for 10 years and I am SOOO ready to be done with that!)  So, say a little prayer that God give these wonderful therapists wisdom and strength to teach Spencer what he needs to overcome this obstacle. It will give us all so much more independence!! 

On the Biomed front, we are plugging along on the diet, we are sort of at a stand still developmentally.  He is half way through his first antibiotic (which tastes horrible, so we are SOOO looking forward to being done with this one...5 more days to go).  We will then start the second, Bactrim.  It will be a little easier to give him, it's liquid and is grape flavored, so it should be a piece of cake.  We do that one for 7 days.  Then on to the Diflucan.  I can't say I have noticed any difference with the meds.  But I know it takes time. 

Until next time....peace, love, hope and prayers!

T

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Phillipians 4:13